Proposal For Middle East Consolidation

Introduction

The U.S. is at war with Iraq. The way things are going the U.S. is also going to be at war with Iran. Assuming both wars are 100% successful there is an important opportunity that should be taken advantage of. Please refer to the map below.



Note the close proximity of Iraq to Iran. There is a high probability of future conflicts in this area and thus future military operations and media coverage. We propose that the two future U.S. territories, Iraq and Iran, be consolidated into one larger territory.

Phase I: Iranq

The consolidated territory consisting of the former Iran and Iraq countries will now be known as Iranq. The new map for this region is shown below.

Potential Benefits

The following is a short list of obvious benefits. This list is not exhaustive.

• Less chance of Iranqi civilians being bombed due to misheard instructions.
• Reduces the number of bumper stickers that overly-patriotic citizens need to put on their SUV's. We estimate this will save 230 billion tons of landfill space by the 2015.
• Current and future President Bushes less likely to use the wrong name in press conferences.

Potential Problems

This plan is not without it's problems and risks. There is a risk that the upcoming war with Iran may have other world powers involved and much like WWII we end up with an East and West Iranq with a crumbly wall or large sand dune in between.

Another issue is the ethnic, political, and religious differences of the various peoples of the Middle East. However we believe that all groups will be able to put aside their differences once they fly the same flag and are ruled by the same unopposed, UN approved political party. The motto "one oil, one people" should be used to encourage this.

A third problem is apparent from closely studying the Middle East map. What's that little dot labeled Kuwait? We propose this be used for an Allied military base, it looks like the right size.

Phase II: Iranqistan

Once Iranq consolidation is complete it may prove equally useful to annex the neighboring country of Afghanistan. This will be an easier process since Afghanistan is already fully subdued by the U.S. military; indeed, it's merely a matter of printing new maps, like the one shown below.



One might ponder the reason for not taking Pakistan into this Phase II consolidation. After all, the name fits well enough. There are two key reasons for leaving Pakistan as it is. First, so far Pakistan hasn't done anything that would merit its swift and decisive military conquest. Wars aren't free and you need a plausible reason to start a new one in this day and age. Second, we believe there are tangible benefits to having a buffer country between Iranqistan and India. Fear not, there is preliminary research underway investigating the potential benefits of forming a Pakindia territory.

Summary

Thank you for considering our proposal for a more peaceful, uniform Middle East. We feel that with some hard work and good media coverage this proposed process will benefit the Western world greatly.